My Heart Still Knows You
by Insanelyradgirl
Summary: Jude has forgotten the past two years, but why? Her parents put her in the nut house and abandoned her. Who will help her now? I suck at summaries. Please read and review!
1. Maybe I am

**Maybe I am**

A One Shot

By JoLee

_I'm standing on the bridge  
I'm waiting in the dark  
I thought that you'd be here by now  
There's nothing but the rain  
No footsteps on the ground  
I'm listening but there's no sound  
Isn't anyone trying to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?_

**Here I am again. Sitting on this hard, cold floor. In this ugly blue room; I hate this room. I'm sick of the color blue. The walls are blue, the ceilings blue, my sheets are blue, my blanket is blue, the bed frame is blue, and the frame around my small mirror is blue. Guess what color the uniform is. That's right- blue, blue, blue, blue**.  
_  
__It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand?  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are but I  
I'm with you  
I'm with you  
_

**Okay, well back to why I'm sitting here, in the middle of this awful blue room. I supposedly had another one of my "episodes". Is it wrong to want to remember you life? I don't know a damn thing about the last 2 years of mine. It's so frustrating not knowing. All I've been told is the night of my 18th birthday they found me passed out on the floor of my room. Why won't they tell me anything?**

_  
I'm looking for a place I'm searching for a face  
Is anybody here I know?  
Cause nothing's going right  
And everything's a mess  
And no one likes to be alone_

_Isn't anyone trying to find me?  
Won't somebody come take me home?_

**I remember the last time they came. They gave me a C.D. I listen to it every day. I love the girls voice is full of emotion. Sometimes I find myself singing along and I sound exactly like her. And I find it strange we both have the same name, Jude Harrison, but I know its only a coincidence. And the voice thing, its just my ears playing tricks on me. They say my mind plays tricks on me a lot. Like when I tell them I see you outside my window walking up to the entrance of this daunting building only to touch the door and immediately head back to your car.  
**

_It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand?  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are but I  
I'm with you  
I'm with you  
(Yeah Yeah, Oh!)_

**Yes I remember you. Well not my mind, in reality I have no clue who you are. But my heart remembers you and I just know that if one day you get the courage to actually walk through those doors. That once I see- hear you I'll remember.**

**But for now I'm stuck here. Yelling at the nurses screaming at the stupid nurses in blue uniforms. Pleading 'let me just call them'- my parents. They who abandoned me, I just want to call them and maybe find out your name. Or just find comfort in something other then the pills the force down my throat every day. My parents think I'm crazy.**

_Why is everything so confusing?  
Maybe I'm just out of my mind  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!_

**I'm not crazy. I don't have 2 personalities or hear voices in my heard. Now Cindy, in the room beside me, she hears voices. She says they try and keep her awake at night. Taunting her, telling her that they will never go away. Telling her that she's crazy. I can hear her sometimes, coiled up in her bed saying "la la la" over and over again, trying to drown out their voices. I find myself letting out a cynical laugh when I hear this. Maybe I am crazy.**

_It's a damn cold night  
Trying to figure out this life  
Won't you take me by the hand?  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are but I  
I'm with you  
I'm with you_

**But wouldn't you be crazy if you didn't know who you were? If no one seemed to care? No one wants to help me. WHY? I didn't ask for this… I don't think. I must've been crazy if I asked for this, then I deserve to be here.**

_Take me by the hand  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are but I  
I'm with you  
I'm with you_

**Okay,they can offically call mecrazy… I've been talking to you as if you can hear me. But I know you can't you probably will never make it through those doors; my heart still knows you, you're to scared.**

_Take me by the hand  
Take me somewhere new  
I don't know who you are but I  
I'm with you, oh  
I'm with you  
I'm without you_

**There you go back to your car again.**

**Disclaimer: insert all that disclaimer stuff here**

**A/N: thanks for reading hope you liked it. Review now PLEASE. **


	2. Mocking Me

_Situation Number one  
Its the one that's just begun  
But evidently its too late_

**He Slammed the car door and gripped the steering wheel until is knuckles turned white**

_Situation Number two  
Its the only chance for you  
It's controlled by denizens of hate_

Why do I keep doing this to myself? I hate this. Everyday I come hoping I'll find the courage to walk through those damn doors.

_Situation Number three  
It's the one that no one sees  
All too often dismissed as fate_

but I never do... and I can hear those doorsmocking me as I walk away. But I can't help it.

_Situation Number four  
The one that left you wanting more  
Tantalized you with its bait_

You know what. Its now or never. I want to see her so bad, but is it worth the pain?  
**Making his decision, he throws the car door open and walks steadily to the ominous doors. One last deep breath. He enters.**

A/N: so really short but the next chappie is on its way! I swear... I got the song. and about half of the reg. textness written. Hope you enjoy. Don't forget to read and review thanks!  
Oh yeah and disclaimers: don't own IS and I don't know Jack Johnson or his song Situations.


	3. Flashback

**"Mommy do you think Lance can come out to play today?" a ten year old boy with shaggy brown hair asked. **

"No, Tommy I don't think so." His mother replied with a sigh. She didn't want him to know what was going on, not yet. He was her innocent child. But one look at the boys devastated face and she caved. "But maybe we could go visit him for a little bit."

**The blue-eyed Thomas Quincy rushed out to the car and jumped into the passengers seat. He buckled his seat belt and waited patiently, well as patiently as you could expect a ten year to wait, for his mother to gather her things and come out to the car. **

**  
Finally they were on their way to Lances house. Tommy stared out the window at the passing streets. **

**"Mommy, wasn't that the road to Lance's?"**

**  
_Past the road to your house_**

_**That you never called home**_

"Sir."

"**Yes, darling, but Lance isn't staying at home right now."**

"Sir."

"**Where is he staying?"**

**_Where they turned out your lights  
Though they say you'll never know_**

"Excuse me sir, may I help you?"

A/N: ok another really short one. ha. Its only revealing its self to me a little at a time. and I felt that this was how this chappie should end. I know its kinda a devil place to leave it. oh well Hope you enjoy. again read and review. Thanks much!

disclaimer: the IS disclaimer goes w/o being said. I'm just ganna say all the rest of the songs are not mine unless I say otherwise.


	4. Again I Ask Why?

_I tried to tell you __  
__I've got to get away __  
__I tried to say __  
__I need my space __  
__I got to get some __  
__Distance in between __  
__My heart and my head_

She wrote in lime green crayon on the wall the words to her favorite Jude Harrison song.

**Those nurses, they wont listen to me. They never listen to me about anything. I know, I just know if I could get out of here and find you; I could, no, would get better. I just needed to get away from this, this, nut house. ****  
**  
_I'm on the razor's edge __  
__I've been here before __  
__I know the way_

Her mind fast-forwarded through the chorus. Skipping it completely as her hand wrote with lightening fast speed on the blue walls.

_I held you in __  
__My arms last night __  
__I dreamed we were __  
__Riding on a star __  
__I kissed you and __  
__The sun began to shine __  
__In dreams I can do anything_

**This guy, he's so gorgeous. I wish I could describe what he looks like, but I'm not sure myself. Oh, and the place we always meet, It feels so, homey. I wish I could describe it to you better, but that's all I know. My dreams of him are so vivid yet so vague**

_It seems like I'm on my own __  
__It feels like I'm losing it all_

**Ha, seems more like I am on my own and I'm losing it all.**

Again her mind and hand omitted the chorus

_Seems like I've been here before __  
__I know the way __  
__Seems like I've been on my own __  
__So long __  
__So long_

**In a way it does feel like I've been here before. Well not here in this exact place, but I've been close to the edge. Like earlier in the song. On the razors edge, I wonder why I've been so close to this destruction before. **

She stopped writing her hand still poised at the end of the word long. Then with big toddler like strokes she wrote: **WHY?**

A/N: Okay, I'm not sure if I like this chappie, but my friend threatened the life of my computer if I didn't post it lol. So here it is.. as always.. PLEASE REVIEW! thanks bunches! ok and I just wanna add one more thing. If you are a One Tree Hill fan you should totally check out Xxfriends.with.benifitsxX fic The Brightside of Suffering


	5. 2315

"Sir, may I help you?"  
**Snapping out of my daze I replied**, "Yes, I'm here to see Jude Harrison."  
"Have you been here before?" **The brown-eyed brunette behind the receptionist desk asked as she looked back at what ever was displayed on her computer screen.**  
"No, I haven't."  
"Then we need you to fill this out,"** without looking up she held out a clipboard with a pen and paper attached.** "It's for security purposes. You can sit over there and fill it out." **She nodded her head towards a row of seats on the other side of the room.****  
****A few minutes later I was finished and hurried back to the receptionist. I handed her the clipboard, she looked it over and then said "**2315**". When I didn't move she looked up and pointed exasperatedly in the direction I was supposed to go and I quickly took off in that direction.****  
**  
**What a friendly receptionist  
****2310, 2311, 2312, 2313, 1214, ****  
****2315**

And there it was, the room that held his everything.

**A/N: I know its uper short and me sorrys. Its like they keep getting shorter and shorter, and this one I couldn't even find a song for. sigh I swear, they actually meet again in the next chappie! I think it will start moving a little faster then.**


End file.
